Take a Look at What Role Disappointment Plays in Your Business

A while back I gave a speech to a group of women entrepreneurs, my ideal clients. At the end of my speech, I invited the ladies to attend my upcoming event at a deep discount. Only one person in an audience of 60 women signed up for the event. When I went home, I was disappointed. Then I made some follow-up calls and within five days, seven ladies had taken me up on my offer. That was the day I decided to never again be disappointed by the immediate results I see in business. When you are not happy with your results or feel you are not meeting the expectations you put on yourself, if you are like most people, you are likely to be less productive, unfocused and not in action.

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Resilience: What does it really take?

ResilienceWe all have aspirations for something.

Even if we haven’t translated it yet into a specific goal, there’s something we want more of, less of or different.

It is the ultimate dichotomy I think of our humanness: We resist change and yet change is what we crave.

The underlying conflict in this seems to be that we want the change we want and nothing else.

We do not want to have to put change to work; we only want change that works for us. And we believe we are the best judge of what that might be.

But the best change quite often masquerades as something else, something perhaps we don’t recognize for its true potential.

That’s the essence of resilience. Being able to recognize opportunity in whatever comes our way. Once we’ve made the decision for what we want, then everything gets put to work to accomplish that. It’s one of the principal lessons I learned from Napoleon Hill’s work, Think and Grow Rich. The decision begins everything. Without a decision, there is no touchstone.

What does it really take then to go from decision to done? What does resilience need in order to work? From studying those that are repeatedly successful it would appear that there are three things that happen with resilience.

First is that everything becomes a resource and gets put to work. You see things differently. You see them through the lens of possibility. You become resourceful instead of just waiting on resources.

Second is a steadfast sense of resolve. Jim Rohn tells the story of a young girl that when asked to define resolve explained that it was a promise you make to yourself. When things go awry, as we know they will, it is our resolve that keeps us on track and moving forward.

The third element is not just what we get in the end, it’s what we continuously produce and that is results. Results are the most effective way to light our path. They show us which direction is working. They guide us along the way. That is why we have to measure from the first step, so we can harness the power of those results, adjusting our sails as we go.

What it really takes is not just one thing, in fact it’s really not a thing at all. When you think about it, what it takes is us. We make the decision, we become resourceful, we resolve to persevere and we follow the best results until we get there.

What is it you want? Decide. Start there. Let it begin.

Live (decide) today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (decide) well.

Resiliency: 5 Gifts of Change

Laughman_Oct 2015_Article 2_ChangeWhatever it is we experience in life, the value of it is whatever we choose it to be.

Does it matter? Is it helpful? Does it cause concern? Are we happy about it? Sad? Angry? Afraid? These are all natural responses. The key is recognizing they are also choices.

Our attitude toward change shows up long before the choice is made and in almost all cases, to at least some degree is dictating the outcome.

In his book, Jumpstart Your Thinking, Dr. John C. Maxwell teaches that our attitude acts like the “advance person” of our true selves. In other words, it shows up before we do, long before the main event. Over time it becomes almost instinctive.

It would seem then that this is an important concept to focus on when we consider where we want to grow. Do we have an attitude about change that is pre-empting success?

How do we change our attitude? In the same writings, Dr. Maxwell offers this commentary about the role it plays: “It is the librarian of our past, the speaker of our present, and the prophet of our future.”  I found that statement to hold the key. If our attitude is the speaker of our present, to change our attitude it would seem to mean we must first change how we speak about it.

As I surveyed some of the changes in my life where I initially struggled, I found five specific gifts I received once I allowed myself to grow through vs. just go through whatever I was experiencing. Seeing the gifts allowed my internal conversation and attitude to change.

#1- New People

My life has been richly blessed from expanding my personal circles. In many cases, those people were introduced to my life in the course of change.

#2- New Places

As a writer, place has been somewhat of a conundrum for me. We like the comfort of our “creative space” and can even begin to rely on its trappings. That was certainly the case for me. But when the creative flow stalls, quite often it is a change of place that allows it to begin streaming again. Once I realized that going to new places was a core fuel for inspiration, my attitude toward them shifted.

#3- New Skills

Any time we encounter change there is almost always something to learn. That can be a daunting road block if we are afraid we may not be able to acquire that skill. The key is recognizing that everything we know at some point was unknown to us. Everything we can do today, at some point we did not know how to do. And with new skills comes new opportunities.

#4- New Ideas

Change is a wonderful stimulus. What we consider (or reject) changes based on new information. We find that we have greater agility for transferring knowledge and skill. We are able to cross-pollinate our understanding of how we work best.

#5- Possibilities

This is of course my favorite because it’s the culmination of everything else. It’s the pinnacle of success when it comes to real change. When we integrate new people, places, skills and ideas into our strategies, the possibilities exponentially grow.

We can change our relationship with change by changing our attitude toward it. We change our attitude by changing our perspective and how we view it, how we speak about it. What new people can I meet and serve? What new places can I experience? What new skills can I acquire and master? What new ideas can this generate? How does this expand the possibilities for my life and work?

In summary: What does this make possible? Once we embrace that question, we begin to master the power of true resiliency.

Live (change) today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (change) well.

Which do you create? A circle or a sun? A probing question from Picasso

Resilience is demonstrated by what we create from our experiences in life.

And with that, what we create has everything to do with our perspective.

As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.”  This is particularly true when we touch on what we create. Perhaps you don’t even see yourself as someone who “creates” but I can assure you that you are. Each of us is a creative and we all have an innate need to create. It goes well beyond what we might think of as creative for art, music, writing, etc. Even within those disciplines, the basics already exist. It is what we make of them that becomes our creation.

A teacher creates a learning experience. A mother (or father) creates a home. A musician creates a performance. A photographer creates an image. A writer creates a story or message. A leader creates a team. Each takes something and through their own unique application transforms it into something else.

But there is more to this that merits consideration. Here is a thought provoking insight from Picasso that transcends the original application intended beyond art:

picasso“There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.”

No matter what we create, the transformation can either deliver brilliance or diminish the light. We each have that choice. We each have that power.

This is also true of our lives. We can allow our brilliance to diminish to that yellow spot.  Or through curiosity, creativity and intelligence we can  transform our lives into bright shining suns of endless possibilities.

The real insight is that in both cases, it is not about resources, talent or skill.  It is about perspective and choice.  What do you see?  What do you create?

Live (Create!) today what you want to tomorrow to be.

8 empowering beliefs to increase happiness

8 Empowering Beliefs to increase your happiness

Your experiences are shaped by your thinking. By adopting some of the beliefs below you can empower yourself to be happy. Even obstacles have a value when you can see it. You can develop convictions that will help you to feel happier and achieve more, regardless of the situation.

I am blessed

I am blessed

Consider these empowering beliefs that you can start using today to transform your life through the power of positive thinking.

  1. I understand my potential. You can achieve amazing results when you put your mind to it. Feel excited about reaching your true potential. I hereby grant you permission to let yourself be ALL that you can be.
  2. I count my blessings. List each thing that you have to be grateful for. Remember to include the smaller items, like warm socks, instagram or tart cranberriesExpressing your appreciation reminds you of how rich you are. I think you can find more of these each day if you put your attention on it,
  3. I learn from mistakes. You can make setbacks work for you by focusing on the lessons that they contain. Flubbing one job interview can teach you how to ace the next one. As a performing artist I cannot get upset over one word I forgot at the last concert. My mastery come in the form of how resilient I am and how well I recover.
  4. I find meaning in adversity. Tough times can be the most rewarding phase of your life. Know that you can emerge from any challenge with greater wisdom and courage. I hate to say it but that old adage of “that which does not kill you makes you stronger” has a tiny bit of truth to it! Look back at the obstacles you’ve already overcome, and reassure yourself that you can handle what’s ahead.
  5. I embrace change. Accept that life is a series of changes. Focus on the present moment, and prepare yourself to adapt to whatever circumstances come your way. If all else fails… practice this mantra: “change is good, change is good, change is good!”
  6. I dream big. Expand your wish list. Do not play small if you want big results. Setting demanding but attainable goals gives you adventures to look forward to each day.
  7. I practice forgiveness. Lighten your load by clearing away any resentment you’re holding onto from the past. Set reasonable boundaries while you respond with compassion when others disappoint you. While you are at it, Pardon yourself too. If you are like me you can be pretty rough on yourself at times and while that fuels you to get better you do want to temper it with a some of that golden compassion you tend to grant others.
  8. I give generously. Sharing your blessings makes you more powerful and joyful. Volunteer in your community and speak kindly to each person you meet today. Buy coffee for your co-workers or give your receptionist a flower.

Dream big and stay positive. You can achieve all of the goals you set out to achieve.

CLICK HERE to view VIDEO AFFIRMATION MEDITATION  “I am empowered”

Please let me know if I can be of any assistance to you or your business.

I look forward to hearing from you.

aeriol

www.askaeriol.com

Your Changing Nest: Are you ready for what’s next? Part 2

Empty NestWelcome back to our conversation about the changing nest. Are you ready for what’s next? Here are some life practices to help you as you re-feather your nest for your next season. What makes them powerful is the fact that they are a part of our everyday life.

As I’ve moved through the empty nest in my own life, these have proved invaluable for moving me through those critical times as I have lived my “now” and designed my “next”!

Life practice #1– Bookending your day

Although this has long been a personal practice for me, it has changed greatly over the past few years as I’ve gone through some of these transitions. Let’s talk about what this really is about. Your morning practice is about centering and focus. It’s about getting grounded for whatever the day will bring. This can be a combination of activities – whatever helps you achieve that for yourself. It could be your journal, inspirational reading or audios, physical stretching exercises, meditation or prayer (or any combination of those!). It does not have to take a long time to be effective but it’s what is often referred to as a power hour. I never thought I would get up early for this but now I look forward to it every day.

Your evening practice (the other bookend!) is about letting go of the day and getting ready for what is next. Did you know that a core practice for fighting the dull-drums in life is having something to look forward to? When we end one day by knowing what we have to look forward to the next day, we rest more fully and awake with purpose. It’s easier to start when we have a plan. The most important part is letting go of today and looking forward to tomorrow. Whatever practices help you do that – those should be a part of your evening bookend. This is also a great time for your gratitude practices.

Life practice #2 – Re-Claiming Your Calendar

One of the most detrimental things I found myself doing when my daughter first got married and left the nest was waiting to see when she would need me. I hesitated committing to things until I knew what her plans would be. I was so afraid of not being available if she called or wanted to do something.

Giving me permission to create my life was essential and the first step was reclaiming my calendar. Making commitments and having things to look forward to. Even seeing her! I still remember the first time I had to tell her I had another commitment. It was a really tough moment but one that helped both of us recognize that in giving ourselves permission to experience more, we were in fact giving each other permission to do the same. There is great freedom in trust. If the calendar stays blank, so will our lives. Get some stars on your calendar!

The idea of something to look forward to has even made it into many definitions of happiness. Best-selling author and poet Rita Mae Brown is quoted as saying that “Happiness is pretty simple. You need someone to love, something to do and something to look forward to.”

Life practice #3 – Growing your life by growing you

“In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Have you ever felt like you are the glue holding everything together? That you’re the stability for everyone else? This is something I hear often. And when the nest changes, here’s a key place where we now start to think about this. When those responsibilities change, we aren’t always sure where to turn in our lives to find a focus, a purpose.

One of the things I love most about my life now is the fact that the decisions don’t feel so big anymore. I used to feel such weight with every choice. Now I recognize that everything is for a season and I’m able to enjoy it more fully. Learning and growing is a big part of that. My learning strategy was always about my profession. Now it’s about me. My life. Who I want to be and how I want to be. As I have grown, so has my life.

The only motivation in life that works every time is this: Progress. So go create some progress. Create your own change. That is going to create your own internal fire and motivation for more.

It’s a core practice that serves us all. Always be learning something. Always be growing. And be deliberate about it. Many people say that they are a “lifelong” learner and that they learn from everyone. That’s great. But also learn something specific. Take a class, a course, sign-up as a volunteer where you’ll learn a new skill. Be deliberate and embrace your inner explorer again!

Life practice #4- Always be expanding your circle!

I’m sure you’ve heard the concept that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I first learned it from success philosopher Jim Rohn. When we think about how our life changes as our nest changes this is an important factor because in many cases, up to that point our relationships have been by default and defined by our roles versus intentional based on where we are personally growing. What are your current goals? Who are the best people to have around you for that? That is where I started. Those relationships have continued to grow and what is remarkable is that they were the catalyst for other new relationships. As we find kindred spirits, they introduce us to others. By always being open to expanding our circles, we are also expanding our life-scape.

Life practice #5- Make a difference – every day

One of the things that comes up often on the subject of empty nest and changes in the seasons of life is the idea of legacy. What do we want to be remembered for? We think about this as we again start looking at purpose and shifting roles and responsibilities. We begin to think that perhaps our purpose is bigger than we might have once believed or even conceived.

We often see people at this time of their time taking on causes and engaging more in their communities. And that’s a wonderful strategy.

But I would like for us to think about this even more universally and make it a life practice to make a difference for someone every day. The truth is that we already do whether we recognize it or not. Sometimes good, sometimes perhaps not, but we have a choice. If we set a goal everyday of making a positive difference the dividends in life satisfaction we achieve are priceless.

This is also where our example makes a tremendous difference. When our children see us moving beyond the nucleus and seeing beyond ourselves to a greater purpose, we are also encouraging them to do the same. Always remember that your legacy is never about what you leave. It is always about what you live.

Permission – Perspective – Possibilities

Use these life practices to create a life system that will guide you through from now to next. Not once – but every time throughout your life.

As my mentor Jim Rohn said: “We all have two choices: We can make a living or we can design a life.”

These practices can make the difference as you design a life.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

Exciting New Book Reveals How To Have The Life of Your Dreams!

front cover for kiindle

Choose Bliss: The new paradigm in Business.

 

Choose Bliss: New Book Proves a Life of Enduring Joy & Contentment *IS* Possible. It’s a Paradigm Changer Critics Hail “Authentic & Powerful”

 Masterfully crafted from the life, experiences and wisdom of Moneeka Sawyer, ‘Choose Bliss: The Power and Practice of Joy and Contentment’ empowers readers to embrace the fact that bliss isn’t circumstantial, but is rather a constant state of being that anyone can thrive in. Through both deeply-personal vignettes and a host of practical exercises, Sawyer walks readers through learning how to never settle for “just good enough” and how creating true power and prosperity can be as easy as a few simple mindset shifts…

 Mountain View, CA – Those who know Moneeka Sawyer often regard her as one of the happiest, most joyous and positive people they’ve ever met. It’s far from a front; Sawyer is truly blissful at all times and feels totally in control of every decision she makes.

It’s a unique yet totally transformative state of mind underpinned by a series of foundational “bliss practices” that anyone can deploy. In her new book, Sawyer explains how you too can be as happy and content as she is.

‘Choose Bliss: The Power and Practice of Joy and Contentment’ will leave readers reveling in their new life steeped with opportunity, positivity and bliss that goes far and beyond being a buzzword. It’s a book about the power to choose, and how these choices can easily create a reality more blissful than anyone believed possible.

Book Synopsis:

This book is about your power to choose. It is a paradigm changer that will transform your view of your life, the world around you, and what is truly possible. Filled with thought-provoking concepts, it will teach you simple bliss practices you can implement immediately and short exercises to integrate bliss into your life forever. The tools in this book have proven successful time and time again. So, from this day forward, you don’t have to settle for good enough.

“The issue is that most people fall into a state of complacency, creating a vicious circle where they live robotically and become frustrated when they’re seldom happy,” explains Sawyer. “My book and my entire philosophy will amplify anyone’s inner light and rekindle the love in their heart. After all, don’t we all deserve to live surrounded by bliss? Feeling happy, strong and free is so empowering that it’s almost hard to put into words. This book will help anyone identify the mental, physical and spiritual adversity that’s holding them back and then inspire them to emerge victorious into a life they have only ever dreamed of.”

Continuing, “I want people to remember that they have a choice about every single thought, movement and action they make in life. When you understand how to make each of these decisions with a continuing life of bliss as the goal, amazing things begin to happen. Just ask the people I’ve helped who have proven first-hand that my methods are rock-solid and proven.”

Since its release, the book has garnered a consistent string of five-star reviews. For example, H. Blanchard comments, “I’ve read a lot of self-help books and this one feels different – more authentic – because Moneeka shares her own life journey and how she overcame problems in a way that I could relate to. The main thing I will take away is that changes are not linear and you don’t have to take action A, then B, then C etc. you can have bliss now even though you haven’t worked your way through to Z yet. I also found that as I read she left cues for the forthcoming chapters that my subconscious started working on so that when I got to the chapter on that subject e.g. Gratitude, I had already started working it into my daily routine naturally.”

James R. Cichoracki adds, “Moneeka’s insights and her compelling stories (from her challenging childhood where she was relentlessly bullied to her hard choice a few years ago to not become a mother) demonstrate how deeply devoted she is to the amazing principles of choosing bliss no matter what her circumstances. I found myself underlining and making notes of things I want to incorporate into my life to live the joy-filled life that Moneeka clearly embodies every day. This book is full of gems!”

‘Choose Bliss: The Power and Practice of Joy and Contentment’, from Silver Torch Publishing¸ is available now: http://amzn.to/2axqguL.

For more information and resources, visit the author’s official website: http://coreblisslife.com.

What questions do you ask?

When I was a teenager (many years ago!), one of the best parts about the Sunday newspaper was an insert that contained a short section about a particular celebrity and provided their answers to a series of questions. It somehow made them more human, more like me. I knew their favorite movie, book, song even words; all things that I believed gave me insight to how they lived their life.Laughman_TIW_December 2015_Article 3_Questions

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Do you have room for more?

Laughman_TIW_December 2015_Article 2_Room for MoreI confess.  Sometimes it is hard for me to let go of things. Whether it’s a painting, lamp, book, a piece of paper my granddaughter scribbled on for ten minutes 10 years ago or a friendship that is no longer serving the needs of either person. Somehow, it feels like giving up, like quitting. It feels as though the release itself is a cost I cannot bear to pay.

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Your Journal: A Textbook for Life’s Journey

Mature woman holding journal and thinking.A core personal practice that has been one of the key contributors to my personal growth is journaling. This subject came up recently at a master mind group and it was a reminder that not everyone may know about how powerful this practice can be.

Although I started this in theory as a young girl (does anyone else remember your first diaries?) the idea of writing everyday about my life and how my world was coming into (or out of!) focus has had its own evolution over the years, rather like me! If this is not a practice you employ, I would urge you to consider adding this to your personal development toolbox.

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