When I was three years old my mother was holding me in line at a grocery store. A man in front of us turned around and said what a pretty little girl I was. I responded with, “No I’m not…I’m adopted.”
Age 14 was the first time I had a failed attempt at suicide. There would be two more attempts later in life. A year before that my brother was in a car accident and was deemed brain damaged. Before the accident he was the only one I felt truly understood me.
My dad died when I was 19 and at 20 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The doctor put me on mass amounts of steroids, which caused me to gain weight – among other things – at a rapid speed. I started at 115 lbs. and by the time the medication ran its course at the end of 3 months I weighted 200 lbs.
I was 22 when I moved to California to purse a career in acting and stand-up comedy, an industry full of rejection and low self-esteem. A business I felt I needed to be involved in for 20 plus years.
When I was 25 I found my birthmother – a traumatic experience within itself, yet one if I had to do it over again, I would.
My early 30’s brought on the Harley Davidson years. My car was stolen and I was forced to ride my motorcycle for the next four years. Riding a Harley introduced me to a lot of wild and wooly characters. One of which raped me.
There is a quote that says: It’s not how you came into the world that matters, what matters is that you are here.
For many years I did not want to be here. Along the way it became very clear I was not meant to leave. So began the pursuit to create the foundation I am built on today. Truly believing in my heart of hearts that if you change the negative mind patterns set by circumstances and individuals in the past, a life-altering shift will occur. Deciding people and experiences don’t define a person; I began to mold, transform and listen to my inner personal power and pulled my head out of the dark cellular abyss and started to believe I was a woman of worth.
Searching for answers to my personal healing and mass consumption of information all led me to: trust, forgiveness, compassion, integrity, personal value, faith, and self-love.
My daily intention is the vision of leading just one person to change and help them learn to love themselves without judgment, guilt, shame or humiliation. If I can inspire myself through love, faith, integrity and laughter it can truly happen for anyone, I have seen it.
With sincere gratitude for my trials and challenges, every moment has led me to where I stand right now. Because of those moments my foundation of “who am I” progressed into “who do I truly want to be.”
Everyday is an experience and a choice. Everyday brings up issues for us to look at. Once you are aware of those issues, you can identify them, and let them go. We are all here with a story – a beginning and an ending – how will you trust your story?
Guest Writer – Trish Lay
Trish Lay is a Certified Master Life Coach and founder of Souls at Play Productions and The Laughing Warrior Workshop. For more information visit: www.soulsatplayproductions.com