Influence is the ability to affect others, to impact their thoughts and actions toward your desired outcome. Influence equals ease in creating what you want in your professional and personal life. What matters is who trusts you, respects you, remembers you, and wants to help you. When you can create all of this with one of your contacts, you now have influence.
Here are important ways to easily increase your influence:
Be Positive
A smile looks good on everyone. It conveys welcome and says, “I am happy to talk with you.” It is the easiest way to be friendly and approachable.
When you have a positive disposition, people are much more likely to connect with you. Do not complain and do not criticize yourself or others. If a smile makes everyone more beautiful, a complaint or gossip makes everyone ugly. People want to associate with, invite, and recommend people whom they want to be around.
Demonstrate a Genuine Interest in Others
Early in my career, I attended a business event with one of my mentors. I was impressed when she walked up to people she did not know, smiled, put out her hand and said, “Hi, I am Kimberly. I have not met you yet.”
Everyone she approached responded with a smile and a handshake. They gave her their names and conversation ensued. I use this everywhere. I follow up the introductions by asking a couple of interested, open-ended questions about the person. My favorite question is to ask them what is the newest or most exciting thing going on with them or what is the best thing that has happened to them lately. People love to answer these questions because it gives them an opportunity to shine and lets them talk about whatever they like.
People will find you charming, smart and interesting—even if you hardly say anything. This is what I call influence with ease.
Cultivate Community, Connection and Camaraderie
You have influence with people who know you, trust you, like you and think highly of you. Ask yourself what you can do to consistently and effectively build your relationships and cultivate camaraderie in all areas of your life, Here are some ideas to get you started:
Invite people to go where you are going. This is a great way to let people know that you want to get to know them better. Whenever you are going to a seminar, a charity luncheon or even a yoga class, think about whom you want to get to know better who would appreciate an invitation.
Return emails and phone calls promptly. I know this is tough with our super busy lives, and it is more important than ever. Because the people in your network know you receive a lot of calls and emails, you make a greater impression when you get right back to people. It shows you care.
Connect in online communities. Reach out on a daily or weekly basis to people you want to meet or whom you already know and have not yet connected with online.
Be Generous
You can give them your time, your money, words of appreciation or encouragement, gifts, and access to your contacts. Be generous with all of these. Pick up the check, buy the fundraising candy bar, accept the invitation for coffee someone extends to ask your advice. Do everything you can to connect your contacts with the people they want to meet. Your generosity will be greatly rewarded with your increased influence.
Influence is cultivated over time. Look at the people in your network. Have you created good rapport with them? Do you stay in regular contact so they remember you? Are you generous? If not, get started on what you have learned here. The more influence you have, the more you will thrive, and the more what you want will come to you with ease.