You’re So Selfish! Really?

11599866_sI don’t know about you but when I was growing up, what I heard was that when you think of only yourself, you’re being selfish. What about you? I don’t think I was a selfish child. To the contrary, I seem to share and give many of the items my parents purchased for me, to my friends and cousins.

As I grew up I felt like I was the one who would freely give of my time, support and even money. This really became a pattern for how I operated in my relationships whether it was my business or personal life. I would freely give of my time, support, skills, information and money.

So imagine my surprise when I’m sitting in a conference with New York Bestselling Author, Lisa Nichols, who would later become my coach, as she talks about giving from your overflow. I’m not sure if it was the overflow or the fact that she spoke to and about my empty cup.

Someone had put language to what I was feeling. Empty. In truth my cup was bone dry. I was a G-i-v-e-r. I had enough for YOU and for me. What about you? I know I’m not the only one.

Part of this way of being, I know, is from our formal and not so formal (what we witnessed) programming from childhood. We saw our mothers/women take care of others, be there for others in a myriad of ways. Today when you listen closely it’s in the fabric of our conversations and even the messages in television commercials.

What we also saw, if we looked closely was that our mothers/women were tired. Overwhelmed at times but they kept going and doing. Some complained loudly while others softly…but they kept going.

I found myself doing this in my business. I dived in deep digging for success for my clients and revenue for my business. So listening to serving from my overflow has become my mantra and measure of success.

Here are four strategies that I have had to integrate for my wholeness, wellness and wealth that I know will offer support for you:

  1. Understand your value. This is probably the most significant stand that you can make for yourself. Recognize the value you bring to your life and the life’s of those you touch in your business. You are the instrument of your work and it is really the value you bring not what you do that matters.
  2. Set clear boundaries for your time. When you’re in business with a VA, email list, products, affiliates, and social media it can all be a beast of burden. Yes, I said it. Between demands, timelines and datelines, lets not forget notifications and updates – it’s a lot. We have to set clear boundaries on our time and being even if it makes us uncomfortable to do so.
  3. Train people how to treat you. Take a moment and look in your life and notice how people from clients to children, from the bedroom to the boardroom treat you. Become conscious of your responses to all from the perspective that you are training people how to treat you with each yes and more importantly… each no.
  4.  Give yourself permission to take time for yourself. This is beyond the spa days with friends but time where you go away with other women who understand the demands you’re juggling between business and life. Retreats for entrepreneurs, and women are flourishing and offer you many options to replenish and connect.

Now, the next step is up to you. Will you give yourself permission to accept you matter and stand for YOU…your wellness, wholeness and wealth. What I know is that when you are replenished, nurtured, and heard you have clarity and confidence, great influence, your heart expands for greater success, you’re a stronger decision maker, your creativity flows, and the end results is your business prospers.


Much love & respect,




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