Although many haven’t stopped to consider it, appearance and etiquette go hand in hand, and both topics are a passion of mine. Good manners include how we look, how we carry ourselves, and how we come across to others. An appropriate appearance demonstrates respect for your self, for others, and for the situation at hand.
Think about it! Packaging makes a difference. Ask anyone involved in product design. Consider
your own choices. Would you buy a product with a soiled, outdated, or inappropriate wrapper? Not unless you get a discount, right? Your clients, peers, and prospects similarly size you up, based on how you look and move. You are, in fact, trying to fit in. If your clothing and mannerisms are out-of-sync, outdated, outlandish, too casual, or even too formal, you won’t be seen as a full member of the team, whatever your professional talents may be.
Recently, I had a financial advisor share her story with me…a situation she won’t forget anytime soon. She underestimated a potential client’s expectations of how to “show up” for a meeting. The advisor was presenting a comprehensive financial plan to a high net worth client. Apparently, what the advisor thought was appropriate for the meeting didn’t sit well with the older gentleman. She failed to assess the situation accurately.
After meeting and presenting a well-crafted financial plan, one in which the client showed interest, the advisor was shocked and disappointed to learn that she was not selected. She couldn’t figure it out. After pressing the gentlemen’s wife to understand what went wrong, she was told that her husband was offended that the advisor had shown up for their meeting without a jacket. You may ask, “Something like this could actually be a deal breaker?” The answer is yes.
Because they lived in a very casual area, the advisor made the mistake of thinking that a silk blouse, slacks, polished shoes, pearl necklace and earrings, and a good quality watch was appropriate for the meeting. The client apparently thought differently! It turned out that the older gentlemen felt he was “owed the respect” of a professional appearance for the meeting, which to him meant . . . jacket.
Now, you may say, “that wouldn’t have bothered me!” or “how would I have known that?” You have to do your homework. You have to assess the situation before you find yourself in it. Put yourself in the shoes of the client, your peer, or your prospect. What would they expect, what’s important to them? Consider all aspects of the situation including generational differences and expectations as was the case in this story.
When in doubt, my advice is to always dress UP rather than down for a first meeting. At a first meeting, you probably don’t know the individual, their values, their lifestyle, or their expectations well. After you’ve had the opportunity to assess and understand the person better, the next meeting will allow you to make adjustments and possibly relax if appropriate.
It’s very easy to slip off a jacket if you feel overdressed, but there’s little you can do if you’re underdressed. “Show up” as though you were interviewing for your next big promotion or opportunity. Remember, you may not be able to control how you’re perceived; but you can control how you’re presented.
As a Certified Image Master (CIM), I am hired by companies to personally train and coach their high-potential people who, despite their technical expertise, will not advance because they lack professional presence. It’s a problem that affects all levels of personnel, including top executives who have fallen into poor habits.
If you would like more information on our executive coaching, our group seminars, or advice for yourself, please give us a call at 831.625.2000 or email Marion at mlgellatly@powerful-presence.com