As a business success coach, I have worked with many people who consider themselves successful and who are considered successful by their peers. No matter how much you earn, how fast you find yourself on the right track, or how often people compliment and congratulate you and your work, you can still have a confidence crisis. Even people with high self-esteem and self-confidence can suffer from a confidence crash. Sometimes, things happen that knock the confidence right out of us.
Confidence is key to our ongoing success. A confidence crisis can be caused by normal life transition, such as moving to a new city, changing staff, or starting a new and different project or promotion. Life’s inevitable losses can also cause our confidence to sink – the loss of a relationship, the loss of a big client, the loss of a dream we come to realize will never happen.
At times, our confidence is shaken by a single incident like missing a deadline, getting a bad review, or just spilling coffee on a report can send us storming out of the confidence cafe.
Confidence is like Vitamin C. You need it in your diet. Your body can only store it for a short time before it needs some more. You have to take responsibility for planning your confidence meals and making sure you have large enough portions.
When you have a confidence crisis, don’t despair, instead, use some of these confidence-boosting tidbits to replenish your confidence quota.
Begin with at least two, then add a third and a fourth. You will gain a lot more than confidence – you will learn to love, honor and appreciate yourself more and more and the people around you will, too.
Keep a Journal
Keeping a journal is a great way to process and clarify your feelings. Forcing yourself to write everyday also forces you to take time for daily reflection. Daily reflection can help you solidify what you know, what you have learned, and what you still need to pay attention to.
Do not use your journal just for processing your feelings. Take time to pat yourself on the back when you accomplish something. When your confidence is low, it can take a real effort to make one more cold call, respond to one more customer complaint with a smile, or be nice to the snarling co-worker who doesn’t like anyone. When you make the effort, give yourself the credit!
Show Gratitude
Practice gratitude – be thankful for what you already have and put your attention on all the blessings you already possess. Keep a gratitude section in your journal. Everyday write down five things you are thankful for. This will help you feel richer and stronger in character and that translates into confidence.
Don’t forget to give thanks and acknowledgement to others. This is especially important in the workplace where the expression of gratitude is often forgotten in the crush of getting work done. When you thank others for what they do, you gain their respect. It is also the mark of a gracious person when you acknowledge others.
Use Affirmations
Affirmations work. Write a list of statements that say what you want and how you want to be in life and in your career. Use affirmations such as, “I get more confident everyday,” “New clients come to me easily,” “I am an expert at what I do.”
State all affirmations in the present tense as if they were true today. Some people stand in front of a mirror and say them. I also encourage you to record them and play the tape over and over. Post them where you can see them. Read your affirmations at least once a day.
Evaluate Your Relationships
Assess the relationships in your life. Do they support you or sabotage you? All relationships change with time; some get better, some get worse. If you have relationships in your life that are more of a burden then a joy, it may be time to sever your ties – or at least loosen the reins.
Start New Relationships
Identify people who have the qualities you admire – people you feel you could learn from and who could learn from you, as well. Look for people you can have fun with. Boosting your confidence can be really fun if you want it to be.
Consider getting a mentor. A mentor is someone who can help you grow and develop. Also think about working with a coach or participating in a group coaching program.
Get into a Good Group
This may be time for a traditional support group. Chatting over a cup of carrot juice with your pals might be a remedy. Organize your own group of confidence boosters and support each other in making changes.
Change Your Behavior
What boosts your confidence and what brings it down? Exercise, getting enough sleep, speaking your mind and dressing well are behaviors that tend to boost confidence. Staying up late, spending all your time on the couch, and saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” will bring your confidence down. Look for confidence boosters and eliminate confidence busters.
Speak Up
When we withhold communication because we are afraid of how we will be received, we chip away another bit of our confidence. Share your thoughts, opinions and preferences in a professional, polite manner. Speak up in all situations. The insignificant situations will be practice for the important occasions that are sure to follow.
Take a Risk A Day
A risk is something you would do in an instant if you knew you would be successful. It is the fact that you do not know how it will turn out that makes it a risk. The best way to bolster your confidence is to start doing things you are afraid to do. Make a list of risks for you, identify the worst case scenario and then do them one by one. Generally, the worst case never happens!
Sometimes, it takes a few days to boost your confidence, sometimes, it takes a few weeks. Occasionally it can take a few months to overcome a confidence crisis. Know that if you are consistent with your confidence boosting techniques, you will eventually find yourself renewed, stronger and more confident.